He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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