..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
