guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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