One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
