On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
