peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
