he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
