he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
