I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
