I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
its liver damage thursday
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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