We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
