hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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