Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
