i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
