there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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