Jerry, you need to find god
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Randomize
