i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
