Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
