so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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