so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
