two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
