I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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