that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
