i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
