also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
