Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
its not stalking. its research.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
