I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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