So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
