Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
now i know why i became what i already was.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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