When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
