He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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