I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
