3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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