Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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