Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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