Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
