I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
This house was built for laser tag.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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