thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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