those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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