I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My room smells like vodka and shame
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
