I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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