Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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