He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
