pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
