bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
