so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
do nipples grow back?
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