Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
