I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
