Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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