she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
