we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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