i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
