my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Panties = found
Randomize
