That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
